The Reverend Doctor Martin Luther King, Jr. offered these words long ago and I offer them to us today as we continue this week on the topic of Forgiveness...
“Forgiveness does not mean ignoring what has been done or putting a false label on an evil act.
It means, rather, that the evil act no longer remains as a barrier to the relationship.
Forgiveness is a catalyst creating the atmosphere necessary for a fresh start and a new beginning.
It is the lifting of a burden or the cancelling of a debt.
The words ‘I will forgive you, but I’ll never forget what you’ve done’ never explain the real nature of forgiveness.
Certainly one can never forget, if that means erasing it totally from his mind.
But when we forgive, we forget in the sense that the evil deed is no longer a mental block impeding a new relationship.
Likewise, we can never say, ‘I will forgive you, but I won’t have anything further to do with you.’ Forgiveness means reconciliation, a coming together again.
Without this, no man can love his enemies.
The degree to which we are able to forgive determines the degree to which we are able to love our enemies.” (Strength to Love, by Martin Luther King, Jr.)
My iWitness...
These are strong words from a man that lived in the context of extreme racial, physical, mental, emotional and political abuse. His life, cut short by an assassin's bullet wasn't allowed to reconcile a number of relationships that he was in the process of trying to restore. His was a great model of the love of Jesus in action..
This is our question of the day... please give it some thought...
Does forgiveness always bring about reconciliation and restoration to a broken relationship?
Before you answer that question let us consider that for Jesus forgiveness meant giving people the opportunity for reconciliation and restoration to the broken relationship we have/had with God.
Jesus died for us so that he may "atone" for our sins.
Break that word "atone" apart and what do you get?... "At One"
Through the forgiveness offered by Jesus we become "at one" with him.
No matter what we have done, the forgiveness offered to us from Jesus allows us to be reconciled and restored.
Wow! (I don't know what else to say about that!!!)
But what about the people who don't want to be reconciled to God. What about the people who couldn't care less about being restored?
There is a standard phrase that gets tossed around on this matter in certain Christian circles...
"The death, sacrifice and forgiveness offered by Jesus is sufficient for all, efficacious (effective) for those that believe."
I am forgiven... but if I don't believe in that forgiveness and want nothing to do with it then that forgiveness offered to me will not bring about reconciliation and restoration. It's a bit of a two way street.
All of which brings us back to our question...
Does forgiveness always bring about reconciliation and restoration to a broken relationship?
Ideally, I would hope that it would.
However, I have been around the block long enough to know a few things...
1. If forgiving a person who has abused you physically, sexually, emotionally and mentally allows the abuser to continue to abuse you then the answer is one big, "NO!" Forgiveness here demands time, space and more space.
2. Forgiving a person for a certain wrong can bring about reconciliation and restoration but it also means that you don't have to be BFF (Best Friends Forever). Forgiveness here might simply mean that the wrong inflicted no longer serves as a barrier in your relationship. You grow to a point where you are hoping the best for that person, praying for that person and even being friendly.
3. A number of people suffer from mental health issues. Some people are toxic in the sense that they are incapable of establishing a healthy relationship. Forgiveness can take place and reconciliation can take place, but it may never be a "healthy" relationship.
4. Some people don't give a darn about being forgiven, reconciled and restored. Forgive, leave the door open and move on. As Jesus said one time... "shake the dust from your sandals..."
With that said, let me challenge all of us to be a forgiving people who seek with the best of intentions reconciliation and restoration.
One of the greatest joys in my life over the last few years is seeking out people (through Facebook and other means) that I have hurt, disappointed or somehow have broken the relationship and asking for forgiveness and seeing God work in both of our hearts in a way that brings about a healthy, loving reconciled and restored relationship.
As Dr. King said, may our forgiveness bring about reconciliation, "a coming together again."
Are there broken relationships in your world that need forgiveness that will lead to reconciliation and restoration?
Me too...
I have two daughters that haven't spoken to me in over 15 years. I wonder day after day if forgiveness will bring about reconciliation and restoration between us...
I will pray for you... please pray for me...
And that's my iWitness...
Laugh often and Fear not!
David!
"All this is from God, who through Christ reconciled us to himself and gave us the ministry of reconciliation; that is, in Christ God was reconciling the world to himself, not counting their trespasses against them, and entrusting to us the message of reconciliation." (2 Corinthians 5. 18-19)
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