Alcoholism

My friend is an alcoholic.
My friend has read my iWitness blog before and if this friend reads today's blog, my friend will probably pray for my alcoholic friend, never believing or even thinking that this blog is about the person that my friend sees in the mirror every day.
I will not even delve into the ins and outs of the why's and how's of Alcoholism.
Let's just all agree that it is devastating, destructive, divisive, denial producing and down right damning for every person whose life is touched by its long reaching tentacles.
My dad was an alcoholic. For how long? I don't know but I would venture to guess for about the last 62 years of his life. Highly functioning and yet, he lost his business, his marriage, his friends, and his standing in the neighborhood and community. I am grateful for the friends and family that stood by him even when he couldn't stand by or for himself. You know who you are... THANK YOU!

You know my alcoholic friend. It could be you. It could be your mom or dad or brother or sister or son or daughter or your business partner, or boss or husband or wife. It could be anyone...

I wept over my friend today. My friend didn't know that I wept. And if my friend would ask me why I was weeping and I gave a straight answer there would be a fight, a screaming match, a slamming of doors, a full onslaught of denials and accusations. It would not be pretty. It would get ugly fast. The tension scale would go from zero to sixty faster than a Porsche 911. The very thing that has held our friendship together would snap in an instant causing irreparable damage.

And here's the tension. There is so much invested. There is so much to lose. There is so much to gain. There is so much at stake. There is so much love and there is so much pain. And the question hits me like a "two by four..."

"What's the right thing to do?" 

I know what Jesus would do...
Can I do the same?

There will be a temptation for you and others to flood my inbox with suggestions. Please refrain. I've heard them all and tried them all. And that's another reason it's so damn frustrating. Until my friend decides to do something, nothing can be done...and nothing will be done, other than my friend's life spiraling further and further out of control...like a whirlpool sucking everything down into its unrelenting vortex.

I have another friend who is a recovering alcoholic. Emphasis on the word, "Recovering!" This friend will read this post and this friend will "like" it on my Facebook page. And because my friend is going to "like" this post, I will get to see my friend's face on my Facebook page... my friend's beautiful face with a beautiful smile exuding the joy of life from a lovely heart. And the reason that I will smile and probably shed a tear is because I can vividly remember when my friend's life was on the brink, on the edge and now my friend is back, back to being the better self, with the family totally intact and life moving forward in all sorts of incredible ways. I love stories like this of restoration and redemption!! Praise the Lord!

My iWitness...

I have talked about two friends...
One is an alcoholic.
One is a recovering alcoholic.

What's the difference between the two?
A world of difference!!
One is recovering. The other one is not.
One grabbed God's loving hand and is spiraling upward.
One let go and is spiraling downward toward a rock bottom landing.
They both make me cry... but for a host of different reasons.

"O gracious and loving Lord. There are so many things in my world that I have allowed to have control over me. Help me to be bold to recognize and call them by name those things that have taken over my life and my world. Help me realize that I cannot overcome these vices, these demons, these destructive behaviors without You. I can do nothing without you.

And for my dear friend and friends who are being held captive by alcoholism...O Lord... my heart aches, my eyes weep. Open their eyes and allow them to see life in a new way, that being dependent on you leads to freedom and being dependent on alcohol leads to enslavement and destruction."

Don't raise a glass for my friend...
Raise a prayer instead...

And that's my iWitness...
Laugh often and Fear not!
David!

"So I find it to be a law that when I want to do right, evil lies close at hand. For I delight in the law of God, in my inner being, but I see in my members another law waging war against the law of my mind and making me captive to the law of sin that dwells in my members. Wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death? Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord! (Romans 7. 21-25)