The headlines and the social media outlets are filled with the topic of same sex marriage. Red "equal signs" fill my Facebook news feed. One man One Woman. DOMA (Defense Of Marriage Act). Prop 8. Some Facebook profiles had an equal sign with a red circle around it with a red line crossed through the equal sign. One Facebook post had a "no division" sign. Other profiles had clip art of a man and woman holding hands. The Supreme Court of the United States of America is hearing arguments for and against same sex marriage. Nine states have legalized same sex marriage. I live in one of them. My own Presbyterian denomination narrowly rejected the proposal for same sex marriage last year. This topic dominates the social, political and ecclesiastical landscape.
I have great friends on the "left" of this issue.
I have great friends on the "right" of this issue.
So... where do I stand?
My iWitness...
This is where I stand...
I stand in the middle with arms stretched out as far and wide as my tendons and muscles will allow my bones to stretch. And stretched they are! My body and heart aches at how taut my wingspan has been pulled. My eyes fill with tears as I write...
At the end of each outstretched arm are my hands.
I have large, strong, beautifully sculpted hands that are gentle, graceful and loving to the touch.
What they do best is "hold!"
These hands have held broken hearts.
These hands have swept up the pieces of broken lives.
These hands have held the hands of people that have gone through the fires and deep waters of life.
I don't let go!
These hands "HOLD"!
And at this very moment these hands are holding on with all their might the hands of my friends on the "left."
And at this very moment these hands are holding on with all their might the hands of my friends on the "right."
It seems as though every other minute one side or the other gains some momentum and pulls with great force trying to yank me to their side forcing me to let go of the "other side." If I lean too far one way then I am called a callous bigot that suffers from all sorts of phobias. If I lean too far the other way then I am called unChristian and not worthy of the calling God has laid on my life.
So... this is where I stand.
I stand tall.
I stand tall with outstretched arms.
I stand tall with outstretched arms with hands that hold.
I stand tall with outstretched arms with hands that hold and subsequently produce a silhouette that in the light of God's glory forms a "Cross."
I am not the first one to suffer the pain of outstretched arms that form a cross.
I won't be the last.
But perhaps in the middle of the debate that's what people will see the most... The Cross
And furthermore, perhaps in the middle of the debate, after people discover where I stand they will let go of my hands...
And for me... that would be the greatest tragedy of all.
And that's my Iwitness...
Laugh often and Fear not!
David!
"A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another." (John 13. 34-35)
Thank you for keeping your hands outstretched. As the Supreme Court concluded hearing oral arguments about marriage equality today, I've been asked to offer comments by a number of people.
ReplyDeleteAllow me to step back a few paces and point out that marriage licenses began at the behest of the Church of England, which was having a whale of a time enforcing monogamy standards in a maritime nation (sailors seemed to have wives in every port).
The Church tried to enforce its moral standards through the “banns of marriage,” an announcement done three Sundays in a row that so-and-so intended to be married; the idea being it would surface a wife. The strategy didn't work, and so the Church asked Parliament to license marriages. The concept was transported to the colonies where it is now a part of our law in the United States. In other words, it is our church that got government into the marriage business in the first place. By the way, Pastor Heather Warren explored this history in great detail at a series of forums in 2011. You can read all of our material HERE.
As a priest in a church, when I preside at a wedding I am also acting as an agent of the state, which is a complete blur of the separation of church and state. It is also raises the question of why one of the sacraments of the Church – Holy Matrimony – is licensed by the state. Baptism and Eucharist are not, but marriage is. Were it up to me, marriage would be a private contract between consenting parties, and the state would be entirely out of it.
I made that argument about a year ago at a panel discussion at the University of Virginia School of Law. One of the panelists pointed out that the difficulty with my argument is that marriage law has provided a common and predictable set of legal guidelines that ordinary people can follow. To make marriage entirely a private contractual arrangement might require people to hire lawyers to get married.
The solution, it seems to me, is the get religion out of the legal marriage business. Those who wish to form a legal union of their relationship, with all the rights and privileges thereto, could go to the courthouse to seal their contract. It wouldn’t matter whether they were same-sex couples or opposite-sex couples. Then if they wished to have their union blessed as marriage, churches and other religious institutions could decide whether they could bless such relationships. Church and state would remain separate, and blessings would remain entirely religious. Each religion could interpret religious law as it sees fit.
And I would not be acting on behalf of the state.
Sorry, the link to our forums did not go through in my post above. Here is the link that you can paste in your browser:
ReplyDeletehttp://episcopalmarriage.blogspot.com/